Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Do you eat chicken? Flesh or bone?

And there I was, in the recording studio where the sound engineer and I were working on mastering my song I wrote and composed. When finally it was done, I had my own song in my mp3 player!!! Can you feel how happy and excited I was? I came back home listening to it. My parents listened to the song, all said it was great. I went to my friend Avi, he said- Best song he heard till now. I went to my aunt, she said- Wow great song son. I also went to friends who listened and said- “Ffffhheww.. Nothing special, get out of here..”

I can tell you it made me sad, it was emotionally damaging to a boy who just got his first song released.

That night when I came back home, I went straight to my father with all my complaints, and said- “Why is it that they didn’t like my song? Dad why is it that they cursed it?” My dad asked me- “Bittu do you like your song?” I said- “Yeah, don’t you?” He said- “I do love it. Your mom loves it a lot. We are proud of you.” 

Then he kept silent and said to me- “Bittu I know you love chicken, how exactly do you eat chicken when your mom makes it?” I thought this was a question my 8-year little brother can answer. Still I said- “How I eat chicken when mom makes it? I take it from the dish, eat the flesh, remove the bone and eat the flesh again.” Then he said- “if you eat chicken removing the bone, why can’t you take the positive responses removing the negative ones, my son?” That day my father taught me this lesson- take the flesh, remove the bones. What do you take? Flesh or bones? Positive or negative?

Monday, December 12, 2011

Let them fall in love with you!!

When I was talking to a friend yesterday, she gave me a lot of good advice about my life as I asked her. Then suddenly I observed something strange. Though she was giving me timeless wisdom, each time I was going to tell her something when she was finished, she was not letting me speak!!! Each time I was asking her something, she started talking EVEN before I finished asking. Reminded me of what I learnt from Robin Sharma- "Resist the temptation to interrupt. Catch yourself just before you do so and pay more attention to the content of what the other person is saying to you." So brilliantly said. Thanks Robin.

It's so true.When we talk,we want people to listen to all we say, but how often do we give others a good listening? 
How often do you just nod and keep listening to all a lovelorn says after her boyfriend breaks up with her?
How often do you not interrupt when your spouse complaints about what they don't like in you?

My girlfriend is a great listener. And the other day when I was trying to find out 3 best qualities about her, I came to the realization that- she's courageous, she's honest, and she's a world-class listener. And you know what- when I am upset, I go to her cause she listens to all my complaints, all I have to say.

This blog is not about my spouse. But I can't stress more on the fact that you should listen more. Just be silent and keep listening. I call it SHUT UP AND LISTEN. What I have realized by watching many brilliant and wise people is that- if you wanna be wise, you have to learn to shut up for a longer period of time.

So here are 3 ways you can adopt to take your listening skill to the next level, right now-

1) Shut up.

2) When someone is saying something, stop rehearsing your replies inside your head.Give them a good hearing. Get behind their eyeballs and try to understand all they are saying.

3) Learn to ask powerful questions and encourage them to speak. Robin says it so well- "After the other person makes her points, rather than immediately responding with your opinion, reflect on what you have just heard. Saying something such as, 'Just to make sure I understand you, are you saying…?”

Trust me if you can lend others your ears, they will gift you their heart. The single best thing you can give someone being generous is your listening. And the single worst thing you can do is- you can interrupt. And trust me on this too, when you master the art of listening, people will fall in love with you- just like I fell on with my spouse.

Who will you give a good listening today?

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Will you be a student of your past?

Just before coming online, I was studying (copying an assignment from wikipedia), and suddenly an incident came to my mind, which made me out of focus. I felt bad. I was feeling,-"Shit why could I do that? How? I shouldn't have done that ever!! Didn't I have brain?"

It happens often. That I recall an incident of the past and feel embarrassed. Ever happened to you?

Then I sat with my journal and wrote everything I was feeling (I don't hide anything in front of journal and God). I wrote what all mistakes were coming into my mind that I actually repent for, feel embarrassed about. Really, horrible mistakes. Blunders.

I kept writing...

And here is the conclusion I came to-

Had I not made those mistakes(and learnt from them), I'd not be the person I am today. Two questions to ask yourself when you go through these kind of embarrassments-

1) Did I learn from it?
2) Will I repeat it?

We all make mistakes and we all realize them, sooner or later. In a letter to me, Darren LaCroix, the 2001 World Champion of public Speaking wrote," We all make mistakes.. We realize them more as we grow up.."

I am growing up.

What about you?

Saturday, November 5, 2011

My Dream Discovered @ youtube

Last year when I was in 1st year in college, I still remember, I had a presentation in class the very next day. Back then I didn't know much about presentation skills. So I went to to find some tips on presentation skills. I saw some videos and suddenly I watched a video named "Your dream is not for sale" by an American Guy. I started the video and I was startled. I was stunned!! This man spoke fantastically. His message was crystal clear, he was amazing and also humorous. I was so much overwhelmed that I watched the video 3 times right then. After I finished watching it 3 times, I said to myself- "I wanna be like this." As the guy was a World Champion of Public Speaking, I told myself- "I will be the World Champion of Public Speaking".

Guess what!! The black American guy is none other than Craig Valentine. I know you have heard of him from me if you are connected with me on fb or personally(I love talking about him).

I am not the World Champion yet. Even I am not a great speaker yet (NOT EVEN CLOSER). I am just a beginner. But yes! I have taken the first step towards my goal (also I have found my goal, have you?). I have taken that very first step. Now I am a member of Toastmasters International, and I make 2-3 speeches a week on a regular basis. I somewhere read- "Take the hardest step first, rest will be easy."

Oh yeah!! Don't we all have dreams and goals in life? Small or big, dreams are dreams. We often don't believe in our own dreams. Bad thing! Often we don't believe ourselves. Bad thing! Even when we do believe in our dreams, we hesitate to take the first step. Makes sense?

Remember-  "Take the hardest step first, rest will be easy."

I am proud I have taken my first step, but way to go.

What's YOUR dream?

What's the first step you can take RIGHT NOW towards your dream?

Who do YOU want to be a Hero of?

Now here is the youtube video of Craig I watched that day. Enjoy it!!!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Toy of Camelia Roy!!

He said “With you I can go,
There is a small condition for you though.”
“What’s that?” She asked and her eyes were filled with joy
He looked elsewhere and turned to her and said-
“I will keep all other promises, but I can’t give you that toy.”

Little, she wept for her dream-toy she was going to lose
Anyhow she wasn’t anymore supposed to choose
“Agreeing?” she was asked and she crumbled the pain
She was happy for her father that she was supposed to get again.

She got the old father back in her life, she had joy and hope
Each moment she prayed to God not to let her loving Papa elope
Hiding the tears about the toy beneath the pillow,
But happy about getting her father’s love flow, Zia said-
“Papa I love you, for you I can leave my play, I can do anything”
Little did she know that it was dream when she was sleeping?

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Heaven will be fine

Another day goes by with faded dreams
Another evening arrives for you to love them
And I can’t seem to find my way
Memories and shadows, forget about fame
Your heaven will love you
Your heaven will love you

I can’t think of any other way-out
I can’t love any other soul for you hate it
Whatever you say, I know you are not okay
Still for you I am not, I’ll never be fit
Your heaven will love you
Your heaven will love you

(Love goes on, so does life...)

Friday, April 15, 2011

how to start reading books and enjoying 'em

Hi all!! First of Shubho Noboborsho. It's Bengali New Year today. And I want you all to accept my honest and sincere love and best wishes. Have a wonderful and sexy life ahead.

Down here this is the first video which describes the 3-step RECIPE of reading books and enjoying them. I hope it helps you too.

Watch and explore!!

Thank you

Monday, April 4, 2011

What Zinia Taught Me About “Talking To Strangers”

Imagine sitting inside a Volvo bus with me on a hot summer afternoon, from my PG room to Majestic railway station. I was going to book ticket for Bangalore to Siliguri. I simply hopped into my window seat and tried to have a snooze. After around 10 minutes the young girl sitting next to me asked, “Do you study?”

I said, “Yes, I study in Amity Global Business School.”


“Do I look so intelligent? No, BBA.”

She started laughing. “Well MBAs don’t need to be intelligent, they just need to be smart” was her immediate reply.

Well I agree MBA guys from my college are smart, but not intelligent? Why? And how can she know that MBAs need not be intelligent? Is she Sonia Gandhi or what?

“I don’t really know what you mean, but I think some of the MBAs are quite intelligent.” Her statement really left me with a little embarrassment.

“Dude,” she said, “I just wanted to talk to you! And I am happy I made you angry. Let’s be friends. Hi, I am Zinia.”

“Hi, I am Bishal, Bishal Sarkar!” I said firmly. Then we talked and traded our experiences for next 40 minutes. We exchanged our views about the land of Dosa (dosa is one of my favourite food items). Majestic wasn’t so far. We reached there and I took her an auto as she wanted to go somewhere fast. Probably I could ask her for a fresh fruit juice in a shop nearby. But by the time I realized I could, her auto vanished.

I wish I met Zinia earlier in my life, I could learn how to start talking to a stranger long ago. Believe it or not, she left me with a lesson I’ll never forget, the quickest way to connect to new faces. “Better late than never.” So now whenever I sit at a public place or if I am in a bus, I think of the girl and start talking to someone new, a new stranger, almost every day. And you know what?? I am getting more new friends, every day.

Do you want more friends?

Do you want to be friendlier?

Are you willing to be smarter(even than MBAs)?

Then try out what Zinia taught me!! And try it the very next time you’re at a bus stand or a restaurant. “Just do it.”

Friday, March 11, 2011

11 basic needs in any relationship

I know that the things you'll get here might have taken your attention before. My point is those needs are not granted. And "Give what you most wish to receive". So if you want to be loved, first step is being lovable.

1. Be lovable
2. Be loving
3. Smile
4. Tell them how much you love them
5. Don't try to find faults in them. Try to find more virtues.
6. Let them dream, and help them make it real.
7. Respect
8. Trust
9. Be helpful
10. Go for a short trip with them. Tell them what you like in them. Tell them what inspires you.
11. Meet regularly.

Easy! Isn't it? Then do it.

"All mankind is divided into three classes: those that are immovable, those that are movable, and those that move."- Benjamin Franklin

Friday, January 21, 2011

No second chance to make a good first impression!!

Just imagine!! The life of an unconfident person (like me)!! A solitary figure, lying on bed and staring at the ceiling fan. No sense of humor, no smartness, no desire to work hard, and no curiosity to learn new things. Still wondering, “Why doesn’t anyone like me?”, “Why don’t I have friends like others do?”.

Well, maybe my imagination is just an imagination :D

Some people are good enough at studies, sports, and even they have a sweet corner in their hearts for ladies. But still they can’t make good impressions at the time they meet new people. Is it that they’re very shy? Do they really know what exactly their problem is?

To be honest I am lucky enough to have understood the problems I was having. Now my question is – Are you willing to be lucky to understand your problems too? Sounds dull but I had never left a good impression on someone till I learnt the ways I am going to share with you. Here I throw another chilly question for you-

A boy enters an interview room. His shirts are not cleaned, his bloodshot eyes are evidence that he hadn’t slept for last 4 days. His unshaven face, garbage of hair(like mine) are enough to trace how unorganized he is. Moreover he doesn’t talk confidently. Low voice, unconfident handshake, lack of eye contact!!

Another boy meets the same recruiter. He’s well dressed, smiley. Nice personality, sharpened speaking ability, with good listening skill and eye contact. He’s got nice attitude, manner and after all he’s a confident guy who is not afraid of shaking hands with seniors.


Definitely anyone would choose the 2nd boy, regardless of the 1st boy’s superiority with a little more knowledge than the other. But as the latter guy leaves a good and confident impression, nothing else happens but he grabs the job. Do you know why, my friend? It’s because everyone likes a person who can smash the moment when they meet someone new or someone they already know. Now, what makes you “smash” the moment while you meet someone for the first time? Here are your own answers-

     1) A smart beginning with a nice “hello” or “hi” with smile and excitement in eyes(think of your lover if you don’t carry excitement in eyes normally). And people who have no spouse can think of their favourite bollywood hero or heroin to excite themselves ;-)

      2) A strong handshake(if it’s comfortable for you and the other person, regardless of boy or girl).

      3) A small but smart and witty intro.

      4) Willingness to know about the other person.

     5) A friendly attitude so that the person feels like talking, asking questions.

      6) A genuine smile on face.

      7) Letting the other person speak. Don’t just keep on talking about yourself and giving demonstrations of your skills.

      8) Should listen to him/her carefully, with good eye contact. Listening is the only skill that makes others feel that they are important for you, that you care for them, that whatever they are saying is important. And then they find out that their opinions stand valuable for you.

      9) Don’t be what you’re not. Be yourself.

    10) Try not to be oversmart.

    11) Smartness differs from arrogance. And to be frank, people don’t like arrogant people. Try to stand your point, but never ever put the other person down.

    12) Respect the other person, and respect yourself. Be humble.

    13) Enjoy the time.

You might say, “Bishal what’s special in it? I already know these things”. Yeah friend, these aren’t what I’m suggesting you. These are the things that we all already know. But most of the times we forget those simple steps and we miss the chance to leave a good impression on people we meet. This shouldn’t happen my dear friend. So I’m encouraging you, rather challenging you to take up these simple tips as a task and keep them in mind to become immune to the mistakes you’ve been doing so far, and you’ll see the difference. Cause remember, there is no second chance to improve the first impression you leave on somebody.

Wish you all the best :D

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Be A Good Communicator

I used to be a shy guy who always used to hide his face from strangers. The only lucky people I used to talk to were my parents, a few of my friends. Relatives were only talked to once they asked me questions like "How is your study going on?", "Which standard are you in?" and so on. I hated talking to people. But at that time I didn't know what I continuously hated would be a place of my interest and passion.

Most of us think that it's easy to develop communication skill. Believe it or not, they're right!! But according to them,"Who cares communication skills?" or "During the coming summer vacation I'll go to that institute and learn Communication Skills and Personality development." It's true that there are several institutes that you can get help from, but Communication Skills can't be earned with a three-month course. 

Now I have a few questions for you.

1. What makes you want to improve your communication skill?
2. Why is your Communication skill not very good?
3. What stands between you and a great communicator who you think is very smart and want to be like?

Well fact is it's realization and your smart thinking that make you want to improve the way you communicate. Most of you will say that for not getting good environment and teachers, you couldn't let the skills develop. Well, yes! I agree with you. But there is always a room for improvement and learning, and it's never too late. So let's get ready to hone the skills of communicating. 

Here are a few ways that you should follow from today(not tomorrow)

1. Take a risk and say 'hello' with smile to anyone. Be happy if they respond. Be happier if they don't, cause then you're going to try with somebody else.

2. The language of communicating doesn't matter. So whichever language you speak, you should be able to speak it fluently. If you're still not fluent, keep speaking the language, keep practising, take a help of a good dictionary (in case the language is not your mother tongue) and speak with native speakers of the language.

3. I know you must have heard the way that I am going to tell you now. But most of you, in spite of knowing, never couraged to practise it. This is speaking in front of a mirror. Yeah!! It really helps. Don't believe my words and try yourself. In the first stage you'll feel shy to look at yourself and talk. But don't give up. Try again. Look at yourself, look straight. Watch how you're moving your body at the time of speaking.

4. Smile :-)

5. Try to make a good eye contact when you're talking to someone or some people. Look at everyone if you're talking to a group of people. But yes!! Look, don't stare at the person. Staring will make the person feel embarrassed.

6. Smile again, smile from heart. This makes people want to talk to you.

7. Never use slang or offensive word. This spoils your image and people can lose interest in talking to you again. So be aware!!

8. Let the other one speak. Listen to him carefully.  Never forget that listening skill is vital for a speaker. Cause, "A good speaker is always a good listener." If you don't listen to others, why should others bother to listen to you?? 

9. Practise every day. And you'll improve every day. 

10. Read books, newspaper, magazines. Reading develops your communication skill in two major ways. Firstly, it makes you understand the topics, so you can know something. Secondly, your language develops. And by reading newpaper, magaznies, you can be able to talk about the recent topics with someone. Everyone likes a smart person. Isn't it?

11. Watch good movies, tv programmes, listen to radio and talk shows. 

If you carefully follow the above ways, I think, no no, I am sure that you'll be 2 times better communicator than what you are now. So practise and see.

Don't wait anymore. Go home and start practising, today. All the Best.