Friday, January 21, 2011

No second chance to make a good first impression!!

Just imagine!! The life of an unconfident person (like me)!! A solitary figure, lying on bed and staring at the ceiling fan. No sense of humor, no smartness, no desire to work hard, and no curiosity to learn new things. Still wondering, “Why doesn’t anyone like me?”, “Why don’t I have friends like others do?”.

Well, maybe my imagination is just an imagination :D

Some people are good enough at studies, sports, and even they have a sweet corner in their hearts for ladies. But still they can’t make good impressions at the time they meet new people. Is it that they’re very shy? Do they really know what exactly their problem is?

To be honest I am lucky enough to have understood the problems I was having. Now my question is – Are you willing to be lucky to understand your problems too? Sounds dull but I had never left a good impression on someone till I learnt the ways I am going to share with you. Here I throw another chilly question for you-

A boy enters an interview room. His shirts are not cleaned, his bloodshot eyes are evidence that he hadn’t slept for last 4 days. His unshaven face, garbage of hair(like mine) are enough to trace how unorganized he is. Moreover he doesn’t talk confidently. Low voice, unconfident handshake, lack of eye contact!!

Another boy meets the same recruiter. He’s well dressed, smiley. Nice personality, sharpened speaking ability, with good listening skill and eye contact. He’s got nice attitude, manner and after all he’s a confident guy who is not afraid of shaking hands with seniors.


Definitely anyone would choose the 2nd boy, regardless of the 1st boy’s superiority with a little more knowledge than the other. But as the latter guy leaves a good and confident impression, nothing else happens but he grabs the job. Do you know why, my friend? It’s because everyone likes a person who can smash the moment when they meet someone new or someone they already know. Now, what makes you “smash” the moment while you meet someone for the first time? Here are your own answers-

     1) A smart beginning with a nice “hello” or “hi” with smile and excitement in eyes(think of your lover if you don’t carry excitement in eyes normally). And people who have no spouse can think of their favourite bollywood hero or heroin to excite themselves ;-)

      2) A strong handshake(if it’s comfortable for you and the other person, regardless of boy or girl).

      3) A small but smart and witty intro.

      4) Willingness to know about the other person.

     5) A friendly attitude so that the person feels like talking, asking questions.

      6) A genuine smile on face.

      7) Letting the other person speak. Don’t just keep on talking about yourself and giving demonstrations of your skills.

      8) Should listen to him/her carefully, with good eye contact. Listening is the only skill that makes others feel that they are important for you, that you care for them, that whatever they are saying is important. And then they find out that their opinions stand valuable for you.

      9) Don’t be what you’re not. Be yourself.

    10) Try not to be oversmart.

    11) Smartness differs from arrogance. And to be frank, people don’t like arrogant people. Try to stand your point, but never ever put the other person down.

    12) Respect the other person, and respect yourself. Be humble.

    13) Enjoy the time.

You might say, “Bishal what’s special in it? I already know these things”. Yeah friend, these aren’t what I’m suggesting you. These are the things that we all already know. But most of the times we forget those simple steps and we miss the chance to leave a good impression on people we meet. This shouldn’t happen my dear friend. So I’m encouraging you, rather challenging you to take up these simple tips as a task and keep them in mind to become immune to the mistakes you’ve been doing so far, and you’ll see the difference. Cause remember, there is no second chance to improve the first impression you leave on somebody.

Wish you all the best :D

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Be A Good Communicator

I used to be a shy guy who always used to hide his face from strangers. The only lucky people I used to talk to were my parents, a few of my friends. Relatives were only talked to once they asked me questions like "How is your study going on?", "Which standard are you in?" and so on. I hated talking to people. But at that time I didn't know what I continuously hated would be a place of my interest and passion.

Most of us think that it's easy to develop communication skill. Believe it or not, they're right!! But according to them,"Who cares communication skills?" or "During the coming summer vacation I'll go to that institute and learn Communication Skills and Personality development." It's true that there are several institutes that you can get help from, but Communication Skills can't be earned with a three-month course. 

Now I have a few questions for you.

1. What makes you want to improve your communication skill?
2. Why is your Communication skill not very good?
3. What stands between you and a great communicator who you think is very smart and want to be like?

Well fact is it's realization and your smart thinking that make you want to improve the way you communicate. Most of you will say that for not getting good environment and teachers, you couldn't let the skills develop. Well, yes! I agree with you. But there is always a room for improvement and learning, and it's never too late. So let's get ready to hone the skills of communicating. 

Here are a few ways that you should follow from today(not tomorrow)

1. Take a risk and say 'hello' with smile to anyone. Be happy if they respond. Be happier if they don't, cause then you're going to try with somebody else.

2. The language of communicating doesn't matter. So whichever language you speak, you should be able to speak it fluently. If you're still not fluent, keep speaking the language, keep practising, take a help of a good dictionary (in case the language is not your mother tongue) and speak with native speakers of the language.

3. I know you must have heard the way that I am going to tell you now. But most of you, in spite of knowing, never couraged to practise it. This is speaking in front of a mirror. Yeah!! It really helps. Don't believe my words and try yourself. In the first stage you'll feel shy to look at yourself and talk. But don't give up. Try again. Look at yourself, look straight. Watch how you're moving your body at the time of speaking.

4. Smile :-)

5. Try to make a good eye contact when you're talking to someone or some people. Look at everyone if you're talking to a group of people. But yes!! Look, don't stare at the person. Staring will make the person feel embarrassed.

6. Smile again, smile from heart. This makes people want to talk to you.

7. Never use slang or offensive word. This spoils your image and people can lose interest in talking to you again. So be aware!!

8. Let the other one speak. Listen to him carefully.  Never forget that listening skill is vital for a speaker. Cause, "A good speaker is always a good listener." If you don't listen to others, why should others bother to listen to you?? 

9. Practise every day. And you'll improve every day. 

10. Read books, newspaper, magazines. Reading develops your communication skill in two major ways. Firstly, it makes you understand the topics, so you can know something. Secondly, your language develops. And by reading newpaper, magaznies, you can be able to talk about the recent topics with someone. Everyone likes a smart person. Isn't it?

11. Watch good movies, tv programmes, listen to radio and talk shows. 

If you carefully follow the above ways, I think, no no, I am sure that you'll be 2 times better communicator than what you are now. So practise and see.

Don't wait anymore. Go home and start practising, today. All the Best.