Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Do you eat chicken? Flesh or bone?

And there I was, in the recording studio where the sound engineer and I were working on mastering my song I wrote and composed. When finally it was done, I had my own song in my mp3 player!!! Can you feel how happy and excited I was? I came back home listening to it. My parents listened to the song, all said it was great. I went to my friend Avi, he said- Best song he heard till now. I went to my aunt, she said- Wow great song son. I also went to friends who listened and said- “Ffffhheww.. Nothing special, get out of here..”

I can tell you it made me sad, it was emotionally damaging to a boy who just got his first song released.

That night when I came back home, I went straight to my father with all my complaints, and said- “Why is it that they didn’t like my song? Dad why is it that they cursed it?” My dad asked me- “Bittu do you like your song?” I said- “Yeah, don’t you?” He said- “I do love it. Your mom loves it a lot. We are proud of you.” 

Then he kept silent and said to me- “Bittu I know you love chicken, how exactly do you eat chicken when your mom makes it?” I thought this was a question my 8-year little brother can answer. Still I said- “How I eat chicken when mom makes it? I take it from the dish, eat the flesh, remove the bone and eat the flesh again.” Then he said- “if you eat chicken removing the bone, why can’t you take the positive responses removing the negative ones, my son?” That day my father taught me this lesson- take the flesh, remove the bones. What do you take? Flesh or bones? Positive or negative?

Monday, December 12, 2011

Let them fall in love with you!!

When I was talking to a friend yesterday, she gave me a lot of good advice about my life as I asked her. Then suddenly I observed something strange. Though she was giving me timeless wisdom, each time I was going to tell her something when she was finished, she was not letting me speak!!! Each time I was asking her something, she started talking EVEN before I finished asking. Reminded me of what I learnt from Robin Sharma- "Resist the temptation to interrupt. Catch yourself just before you do so and pay more attention to the content of what the other person is saying to you." So brilliantly said. Thanks Robin.

It's so true.When we talk,we want people to listen to all we say, but how often do we give others a good listening? 
How often do you just nod and keep listening to all a lovelorn says after her boyfriend breaks up with her?
How often do you not interrupt when your spouse complaints about what they don't like in you?

My girlfriend is a great listener. And the other day when I was trying to find out 3 best qualities about her, I came to the realization that- she's courageous, she's honest, and she's a world-class listener. And you know what- when I am upset, I go to her cause she listens to all my complaints, all I have to say.

This blog is not about my spouse. But I can't stress more on the fact that you should listen more. Just be silent and keep listening. I call it SHUT UP AND LISTEN. What I have realized by watching many brilliant and wise people is that- if you wanna be wise, you have to learn to shut up for a longer period of time.

So here are 3 ways you can adopt to take your listening skill to the next level, right now-

1) Shut up.

2) When someone is saying something, stop rehearsing your replies inside your head.Give them a good hearing. Get behind their eyeballs and try to understand all they are saying.

3) Learn to ask powerful questions and encourage them to speak. Robin says it so well- "After the other person makes her points, rather than immediately responding with your opinion, reflect on what you have just heard. Saying something such as, 'Just to make sure I understand you, are you saying…?”

Trust me if you can lend others your ears, they will gift you their heart. The single best thing you can give someone being generous is your listening. And the single worst thing you can do is- you can interrupt. And trust me on this too, when you master the art of listening, people will fall in love with you- just like I fell on with my spouse.

Who will you give a good listening today?